Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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