I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
