Can Purell be used as lube?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
