That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
