Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
