i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
