Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
