i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
