ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
