chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
