At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
