You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
