Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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