Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
