The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
