So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
