I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
