Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
