some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
