Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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