Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
