the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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