Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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