Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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