My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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