Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
