This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
