No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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