why didn't you poke me back
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
