so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
