Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
