If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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