At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
