I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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