That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
