you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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