maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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