sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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