I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
