in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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