so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
