Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
