my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
