Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
