I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
