just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
