with your own penis?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
