Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Rumble strips road head = magical
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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