can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
