Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
