Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
