Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
