I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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