On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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