I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
