How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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