Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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