he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
