Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
