on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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