Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
